ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
