Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
