question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
