i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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