Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
