I wish I could punch you in the face.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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