I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i would punch a child for taco bell
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
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