Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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