You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
