So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
