I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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