hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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