haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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