No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
