I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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