i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
