My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize