I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize