Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
