There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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