I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
