So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
