I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize