so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
