Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
