His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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