Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
