I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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