Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
