Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
you never un-have a 4some
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
