Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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