She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
