Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
