I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
