You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
