Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
