u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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