Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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