i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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