i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Randomize
