Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize