Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
