I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
