Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
