The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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