the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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