Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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