I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
