dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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