i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
