dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
