why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
