Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is it penis luge time yet?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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