why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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